Sweary Lancastrian gammon botherers Those Fucking Snowflakes are back with a characteristically blunt and hilarious tale of the childhood struggles faced by ex-Prime Minister Rishi Sunak (remember him?). ‘No Sky for Rishi‘ is a full on punk assault, riffing on the infamous interview in which the billionaire former PM attempted to connect with a country going through a cost of living crisis by telling us he’d gone without Sky TV as a child – as you can imagine the nation’s hearts bled for the poor little sod. The track features an excellent and unexpected twist on the intro music from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and comes alongside a video which references cult Japanese horror movie Ringu, filmed on a budget of £0. It’s the first of four releases planned for 2025, so keep your eyes and ears peeled for news of more to come.
As they’ve given Sunak a theme tune of his own, we thought it only right to extend the same courtesy to other inhabitants of 10 Downing Street, so here are Those Fucking Snowflakes with their PMs Playlist:
Keir Starmer: mclusky – To Hell With Good Intentions
Lyrically this has nothing to do with how we feel about the Custard Spined Tory Trojan Horse’™ that is Sir Kid Starver, but myself (Barreh) and Sam really like mclusky so we shoehorned this song in, the title fits though. OH JERRREEMMMYYYYYY!!!!
Rishi Sunak: Sleaford Mods – nudge it
It was between this and ‘Common People’, ‘Nudge It’ won out as the lyrics about ‘class tourism’ and ‘stood outside a high rise trying to look like a gangster’ summed up the feeling we had when Rishi claimed he had ‘gone without’ due to not having Sky TV. My family had to rent our actual TV as we couldn’t afford one, we put 50ps in it to make it work. Fuck you Rishi.
Liz Truss: Napalm Death – You suffer
No idea what the lyrics are about as there’s only two words but the song, at 4 seconds long, lasts longer than Truss’ stint as PM. She’s still being a total fucking knob now teaming up with Farage to make some Nazi Speech Social Media platform. Fuck you too Lizzy.
Boris Johnson: Cocteau Twins – Fifty-Fifty Clown
It’s the Cocteau Twins so lyrically this actually could be a song about Boris Johnson. The title fits as Boris is a clown who rode the almost 50-50 Brexit vote into number 10 and proceeded to fuck everything up. He flogged the shit out of that ‘Let’s Get Brexit Done’ nonsense and then never got it done. We could also have used our own song ‘Boris Johnson and the Big Red Bus of Bullshit’ here but the Cocteau Twins are better. A much better Elizabeth than the last one.
Theresa May: Madness – Embarrassment
Title says it all really, she was an embarrassment. From the middle class dance walk onto stage, to the ‘boys jobs and girl jobs’ thing and stopping off at frolicking in fields or some shit on the way. What the fuck? Did she do anything as PM – nobody knows, maybe it was all in the matrix.
David Cameron: Nine Inch Nails – Piggy
We could have gone with ‘March of The Pigs’ but ‘Piggy’ is a much sexier sounding song and ole’ Dave does like to romance the livestock (allegedly for legal purposes). Dave can fuck himself instead, leave the pigs in the barns, or houses if you have a pet one.
Gordon Brown: Queen – Under Pressure
I’ve seen people state the opinion that Brown was the last decent Prime Minister we had, which is quite sad really as it was 15 years ago, and he was PM at the time of a recession – hence ‘Under Pressure’ (plus it’s Bowie and Queen) – ousted after the Lib Dems sided with the Tories which makes the Lib Dems Tories in my book and I’ll never vote for them. Let’s not tell Gordon to go fuck himself.
Tony Blair: Sex Pistols – Liar
WHERE’S THE WEAPONS TONY? – see also ‘Liar’ by Rollins Band but that’s not on Spotify so we went with the Pistols. Britpop wanker, fuck you Tony.
John Major: Fudge Tunnel – Grey
We’re in the territory of where we were too young to understand what was going on in politics but although Major has… not redeemed himself as such, but had some good points on Brexit being shit a while ago so isn’t quite the clown Boris is. I always remember him as a grey puppet on Spitting Image, which I was far too young to properly understand at the time. So we went with the noisiest Grey song we could find. I don’t know what the lyrics are about though – maybe they are about John Major.
Maggie Thatcher: My Chemical Romance – Dead!
Thatcher was a cunt, and probably still is a cunt in hell. We were going to go with ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ but this MCR song is the most glorious happy sounding song about someone dying we could think of, plus the ‘Have you heard the news that you’re dead?, No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway’ lyrics work nicely. Thatcher can definitely go fuck herself.
‘No Sky for Rishi’ is out on 24th April as a digital download via Bandcamp
Those Fucking Snowflakes: Website / Facebook / Instagram
Article by Paul Maps
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